Letter: Magda Haghos
Magda gifts us with her reflections and describes her experience of growing up as a woman of color in Denmark.
The experience of becoming a woman in a predominantly white society was on some levels a very eye-opening experience. Even the general sexualized portrayal of women in society can be hard to ignore, but realizing how my black skin and thick lips would sometimes be fetishized and reduce me to just a category on a porn site is something I found very hard to understand and cope with in the beginning.
Having men admit to me that after sleeping with me, they had “that” box checked off, can still make me so angry. It used to make me feel so small and worthless because I thought that my charm, humor, intelligence, and talent meant less than the sexualized stereotypical image of me that seemed already carved in their minds.
The fact that I couldn’t tell a man, that calling me “exotic” was not really a compliment without being called “ungrateful” or “rude” back or being told that my ass is actually sort of small for a black girl was extremely frustrating. I spent a lot of time being offended and angry, but not knowing that these were actually things I was allowed to be mad about, so I would try to accept the fact that it was just how it was going to be.
Growing older and learning more about myself and society, I now know what I can and what I am worth, which is why it feels so important to me to be a part of Moons and Junes. A project that, instead of sexualizing women and setting beauty standards to satisfy the male gaze, pays tribute to the female body, its beauty, and all its abilities!